Vegas and some Zona

I always wondered what life would be like as a male stripper, I don't have the physique and probably other parts of me lack the ability to truly make it in that profession, but when I stepped on Flight 1189 to Las Vegas I found myself thrust into the midst of a Bachelorette party.  My parents were seated 2 rows behind me, thus leaving me as a random straggler.  Apparently seat 31-C was not random, but in fact a perfect location for partying.  Of course with my luck the woman getting married was in her late 30s accompanied by her 46 year old sister, and many other women not anywhere near the age that would have made the experience that spectacular.  The woman's mom was even an attendance secretary at my old high school, calling the class of 2002 the worst attendance class she ever had.  So instead of sleeping, reading, or listening to music I came up with names for the bachelorettes in Las Vegas, got drunk talk for 4 hours, and realized how unlucky I was.  The truth is there was a girl in the same row as me, unconnected to the party who kept staring at me and much closer to my age. Following her another good looking girl of similar age and finally the guy whose seat I should've had. It was strange because I have no idea why the girl was looking at me, but I would've liked to find out. Even one of the drunk girls said, "man you're probably thinking what the fuck did I do to deserve this.  I'm stuck with these old drunk women and there are 2 hot girls in the same row talking it up with the other dude." All I could do was nod my head and agree.  As the flight ended and my flight party was over I proceeded to wait for my parents and get off.  Of course the party was waiting for me, yelling "I love you Benjie, come party with us later" and the final party shot by one of the women "Thanks for the good time, that bathroom on the plane will never be the same again after us."  It didn't embarrass me for some reason, but all I could do is think to myself how crazy women truly are.

My family stayed at the Encore, the room was great, but it didn't have that great casino feel or give me the desire to gamble much.  That didn't stop me (unfortunately), but table limits were often high and much of their goal was to push you in to the connected Wynn for gambling, shopping, and the Sports Book. In addition to the Encore feel, the people in Las Vegas were increasingly odd; clearly coinciding with Nascar being in Vegas. This led to an increase in unattractive women wearing clothes they shouldn't be.

Friday night I had the privilege to go see Criss Angel "Mindfreak" and his show "BELIEVE."  The lie part is really bolded in his title and the privilege was the fact that in the end I didn't allow myself to take my own life and survived the 2 hours.  A bunch of us on the trip were sent to this show while the adults saw another show.  He started off with potential, did a couple of his disappearing acts, basic magic stuff, but somewhat entertaining.  After those 7 minutes, however, it was all down hill. His favorite thing was to attempt tricks from his TV show, in fact he'd say, hey remember season 1 episode 6 when I did this, well I'm going to do it now!  I never watched his show, but either way just do the fucking trick.  So he builds up this big trick where he gets "shocked" by 6 million volts of electricity, he shows the highlight from his show and they bring out the contraption.  So I figure it'll at least be fun to see if he gets electrocuted.  Then he brings out a potato in aluminum foil saying he is going to throw it in first to show how powerful it truly is.  As he slowly walks towards the box an "explosion" occurs he falls down, before the explosion actually happens and the show proceeds to be "if Criss Angel died."  Apparently he liked the movie Donnie Darko as it was filled with terrifying dancing bunnies, monsters, and clowns.  If you go to Las Vegas and feel like losing money without the potential to get it back, just buy a ticket to Criss Angel.  (Side note, his show is being revamped and he'll be gone for 6 months, so make sure you coincide so you don't miss wanting to kill yourself).

The most exciting day came on Saturday.  I woke up early in the morning with the knack to lose money on college basketball games and blackjack so I could make sure to have no money for the next 12 days and reach in to my European funds.  I ran down to the Sports book around 8:15 a.m, and sit down in a row by myself.  Moments later I was lucky enough to be joined by Larry King.  Little did I know my day would be filled with celebrity encounters.  I didn't say anything, he was all about his horse racing and I figured why bother him, especially if he were to be losing money at the time.  A few people went up to him, but for the most part he was left alone. Now we'll skip ahead to Saturday evening.  Originally the plan was for my whole family to go to a big charity event at the Bellagio with our friends from California.  Unfortunately for my sister and I our chance to go fell through, however, the night was not lost.  We went to see the Beatles cirque de soleil "Love" with my Uncle.  It was a fantastic show and as we were sitting waiting for the show to get started in walked Kristin Davis (Charlotte from Sex and the City, for those not as clearly gay as me for knowing who she was).  She came in with some random dude and got the royal treatment.  She had popcorn, some Fiji water, programs delivered to her.  She took a picture with the program for the people and then the show began.  Clearly they did not realize I was sitting right there or I would've had my picture taken too for them.  As the show ended she was quickly escorted out by the director before any person could talk to her, once again I was overlooked.  From there we proceeded over to the Bellagio for a small bite to eat and to hang out waiting for the parental units. 

As we proceeded over a text came through from my mom that Hilary Duff was one of the celebrity guests at the charity event. For those of you who don't know, xoxo Hil and I go back to 2003.  I was being harassed about her being there, I'm not as crazy about her as back in the day so it wasn't as big a deal to me.  I still think she's a very pretty girl, but the connection for me was more to the Lizzie McGuire character and the image of her being that girl who is your best friend, but for some reason you're so fucked in the head it won't allow you to take the chance to see if you can be with her.  This was the story of my existence and when she finally made the move on Gordo I thought that's how life should be and thus the perfect person was created.  I've gotten over myself since then (not really, but her at least) and that image is no longer as prevalent as in the past.  After dinner we waited for my parents and got the call the event was over, Zigfried and Roy performed their final trick and people were leaving.  As we walked to the other side of the casino, it happened.  Right in front of me walked Hilary.  It all happened too quick, which in the end is probably a good thing because any awkwardness that would've ensued ("Hey, I used to wake up to your song So Yesterday as my alarm for 3 years in college.") could not have ended well for me.  I did see her though, and that's a step.  Maybe it means we're destined to cross paths again, I mean she did date a "Benji" she obviously didn't know she was missing the "E."

On Sunday morning I woke up again to gamble, I figured why not go Vegas Vacation on the casino and try to win my money back.  For those concerned I won about half my money back, something that was much needed.  My Uncle and I watched MSU win the Big Ten title to cap off the weekend and headed south to Arizona.  

I was going to split this in to two, but if you're still here I'll just tell you about Arizona.  It's a lot more undeveloped than I envisioned.  We woke up early to drive to the ASU Phoenix area where the journalism building is.  It's in the middle of downtown Phoenix, which isn't much of a downtown at all.  A lot of construction and modern architecture occurring, but nothing that exciting.  From there we proceeded 20 minutes to the main campus.  I enjoyed the main campus much more than the building I'd be stuck in and realized that it would maybe suck to be in Phoenix when all the students are actually in Tempe at the real campus. I was surprised not to see anybody condemning students to hell or even a loud campus in general.  The good news is since I wasn't totally enamored with the part of the University I would be at, as comically predicted I got an email tonight stating Arizona State has removed their name from allowing me to consider them.  So for those hoping I stay in Michigan you're one step closer.  

All is not lost though.  I did go to the Cubs vs. Diamondbacks Spring Training game today, I had never been to a Spring training contest.  There were over 9600 fans there, many families, classic old Arizona couples, and my personal favorite the drunk heckling baseball fan.  Being that it was 90 degrees and the only way to handicap the fight for hydration even more is to drink beer this venue was fantastic.  We got seats on the GA lawn area, a solid outfield seat for $7. The main victim seemed to be "Evan Frey." No matter what he did 2 men on the grass would not leave the kid alone.  "You're a minor leaguer, use 2 hands when you catch the ball, Go back to France, Frey!" He seemed unfazed, never even glaring back, kudos to you Mr. Frey. 

With one day left in Arizona and no need to go back to visit the campus I find myself still ready to enjoy the 90 degree weather for one more day.  I got sun burnt today, not a shocker, but I have to find a way in the future to evenly distribute sun tan lotion, I have a tendency to make myself look like the 103rd Dalmation when I should look more like a Benjie.  I think it's even, I think there is enough on me, but I never get it right.  Or it's just sun poisoning, but what can you do.  I'm having a good time so far and for some reason the rejection didn't effect me, I heard the more times it happens the easier it gets.  Plus electronically receiving the "You've been denied" email gives it that fake feeling.  May go find another game spring game for tomorrow and become heckling fan guy myself.  I leave for Colorado Wednesday, fully expecting another rejection email Wednesday evening from there, but hey at least I'm seeing the world.

Congrats for making it to the end and thanks for coming here a second time.  Leave comments, use the toilet and don't forget to shake.

-BK